You’ve found the love of your life and now it’s time to get that perfect ring to pop the question with! Once you find that perfect ring, however, there’s one more piece of information you need to get before you purchase it: her ring size. Figuring out your partner’s ring size can be a bit tricky, especially if you want your proposal to be a surprise. But we’re here to help with our list of 6 ways to secretly find out her ring size! Read on to learn all the sneaky ways you can learn her ring size without her knowing.


1. Sneak a Ring

One of the easiest ways to discreetly discover your partner’s ring size is to swipe one of her own rings from her jewelry box and take it to a jewelry store, then ask a jeweler what size it is. With this strategy, it’s important that you know which finger she wears the ring on and whether she wears it on her left hand or her right hand. Our fingers are all slightly different sizes, so if she wears the ring you sneak away on any finger that’s not her left ring finger, it may have a slightly different ring size than she’ll need for her engagement ring. However, if you know which finger she usually wears the ring on, a jeweler should be able to guess at her approximate engagement ring finger size. Be sure to also tell the jeweler which hand is your partner’s dominant hand, which can affect how large our fingers are.


2. Draw Her Size

This strategy works much like our last one, but it doesn’t require that you borrow a ring. If you’re worried your partner may notice if you steal a ring away for a bit, you can also trace the inside of one of her rings on a piece of paper, then take that a local jeweler for ring sizing. Alternatively, you can also put one of her rings on your finger, then draw a line on your own finger so a jeweler can use a ring sizer on your hand to see what size her ring is. Additionally, if you want to try this trick but are worried you may trace the ring wrong, you can also make an impression of the ring in a bar of soap.


3. Ask a Friend or Family Member

This is a tried and true way to figure out her ring size: ask someone else, like one of her friends or family members, if they know it. It’s possible that no one will know her ring size. However, this strategy is definitely worth a shot. It’s possible that she’s told her friends or family her ring size if she thinks you may get engaged soon. Or, that her family has bought her a ring in the past and will know her size.


4. Have a Friend Take Them Engagement Ring Shopping (For the Friend)

This trick requires that you get one of her more savvy friends in on your plan. Ask one of her friends to go ring shopping with your partner (for the friend). Then, make sure the friend notes your partner’s ring size as they try on rings together. If she has a best friend who may be getting engaged soon, this is an easy trick to pull off. If she doesn’t, this may require that you enlist a friend who is a good actor and can just suggest that they try on rings for fun.


5. Pretend You’re Shopping for a Family Member

Another way you can sneakily find out her ring size is to ask her in a very subtle, misdirected way. You can pretend that you’re shopping for a ring for a family member (like your mom, aunt, cousin, niece, etc.) and say you don’t have a clue what size you should get. Then, talk a bit about what size ring they may be, while also talking about her ring size for comparison. You can also pretend that you need her to try on a ring “for your family member” because she’s a similar size.


6. The Sleeping Beauty Technique

This strategy only works if your partner is a very heavy sleeper. But if she’s a heavy sleeper, it’s a great (and usually highly accurate!) option. While she’s sleeping, use a piece of paper, fishing line, or string to measure her ring size, then take your findings to a jeweler to get her size.


General Notes on Guessing Engagement Ring Size

While some of these strategies may help you get her perfect engagement ring size on the first try, others can require a bit of guessing. If you do have to guess a bit, know that it’s usually better to get a slightly larger size than a size that may be too small. That way, she’ll be able to put the ring on when you propose, even if it’s a bit loose and needs to be resized later.

Generally, resizing most engagement ring styles easy and inexpensive. The one exception is if the ring’s band is highly detailed along the entire band (like with fully engraved rings or eternity bands ). If you’re worried about getting the size wrong or just can’t figure it out using the ways above, know that you still have options. You can always propose with a temporary ring (like a simple gold or sterling silver band), then order the real ring after she says yes. Or, if you don’t mind taking away some of the element of surprise, there’s always the easiest way to find out her ring size: ask her or go to get her sized together. If you ask her outright, your proposal can still have some elements of surprise. She may know that you’re going to propose but she still won’t know when, where, or how you’ll propose.